Comments on: Treating the Disease of Alcoholism http://aboutalcoholismtreatment.com/treating-alcoholism/ All about alcoholism, alcoholism treatment, and recovery Sat, 12 Nov 2011 16:00:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: j http://aboutalcoholismtreatment.com/treating-alcoholism/comment-page-1/#comment-1684 j Sat, 21 May 2011 16:32:55 +0000 http://aboutalcoholismtreatment.com/?p=131#comment-1684 ina, I'm sure he is a good man. In my experience, there is no such thing as a "minor" alcoholic. Either you are or you aren't. Personally I even went for a period of over 6 years where I didn't drink, however, I was not growing emotionally or spiritually and was what we call a "dry drunk." The key to what you wrote for me is, "I still don't wanna live like this anymore." Sure, it's easy for me now to sit back and give suggestions and advice, but when you're in something like you're experiencing it's hard I know. All my experience is from the alcoholics side of it, not the person living with me. So that's where my sharing comes from. For me, no one could make me go to treatment or get help, as you've said yourself. Not until the consequences of my drinking became more painful then living the way I was living was I willing to look at myself and make a change. And that took several years and attempts. There are support groups for loved ones living with alcoholics, mainly one called <a href="http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/" rel="nofollow">Ala-Non</a>. My mother started attending Al-Anon years ago as my father drank also, so I have some experience with it and I know it helped her tremendously. The thing is, it's your life and you're responsible for your happiness. I know it's hard, and I know you desperately want to be "enough" for someone else to want to change or stop drinking. But from experience, I can tell you that as an alcoholic, nothing and no-one was enough for me to want to stop. I had to get to a point where living the way I was living just sucked so bad that even the fear of trying something different (AA, spiritual help, etc.) was welcoming. No one could make me see that I had a disease, it took me reaching <a href="http://www.spiritualzen.net/2009/03/the-greatest-gift/" rel="nofollow">my point of desperation</a> to finally accept that I truly had to do something about it. For me that place was dark and bad, but it doesn't have to be for everyone. Something that always resonates with me is something Jeff VanVonderen (an interventionist on A&E's show Intervention) always says to family members about the alcoholic or addict, "There's nothing we won't do to help you get better, but there's nothing we're going to continue doing that will allow this to go on any longer." I know with my father, he passed away last July (2010) he never quit drinking. Although that's his story, I just feel that the consequences of his drinking never become severe enough for him to want to quit. Think about it.... why would I as an alcoholic want to quit drinking if I'm not suffering any real consequences? Sure, everyone else around me may be suffering, but from the way I see it, I'm drinking and living the way I want to. That DOES not mean I'm a bad person, just sick. My only suggestion to you would be, take care of yourself, find a support group and show him that you're going to be well and happy. I wish you the best of luck and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. ina,
I’m sure he is a good man. In my experience, there is no such thing as a “minor” alcoholic. Either you are or you aren’t. Personally I even went for a period of over 6 years where I didn’t drink, however, I was not growing emotionally or spiritually and was what we call a “dry drunk.” The key to what you wrote for me is, “I still don’t wanna live like this anymore.” Sure, it’s easy for me now to sit back and give suggestions and advice, but when you’re in something like you’re experiencing it’s hard I know. All my experience is from the alcoholics side of it, not the person living with me. So that’s where my sharing comes from. For me, no one could make me go to treatment or get help, as you’ve said yourself. Not until the consequences of my drinking became more painful then living the way I was living was I willing to look at myself and make a change. And that took several years and attempts. There are support groups for loved ones living with alcoholics, mainly one called Ala-Non. My mother started attending Al-Anon years ago as my father drank also, so I have some experience with it and I know it helped her tremendously. The thing is, it’s your life and you’re responsible for your happiness. I know it’s hard, and I know you desperately want to be “enough” for someone else to want to change or stop drinking. But from experience, I can tell you that as an alcoholic, nothing and no-one was enough for me to want to stop. I had to get to a point where living the way I was living just sucked so bad that even the fear of trying something different (AA, spiritual help, etc.) was welcoming.

No one could make me see that I had a disease, it took me reaching my point of desperation to finally accept that I truly had to do something about it. For me that place was dark and bad, but it doesn’t have to be for everyone. Something that always resonates with me is something Jeff VanVonderen (an interventionist on A&E’s show Intervention) always says to family members about the alcoholic or addict, “There’s nothing we won’t do to help you get better, but there’s nothing we’re going to continue doing that will allow this to go on any longer.”

I know with my father, he passed away last July (2010) he never quit drinking. Although that’s his story, I just feel that the consequences of his drinking never become severe enough for him to want to quit. Think about it…. why would I as an alcoholic want to quit drinking if I’m not suffering any real consequences? Sure, everyone else around me may be suffering, but from the way I see it, I’m drinking and living the way I want to. That DOES not mean I’m a bad person, just sick. My only suggestion to you would be, take care of yourself, find a support group and show him that you’re going to be well and happy. I wish you the best of luck and you’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.

]]> By: ina http://aboutalcoholismtreatment.com/treating-alcoholism/comment-page-1/#comment-1683 ina Sat, 21 May 2011 16:04:14 +0000 http://aboutalcoholismtreatment.com/?p=131#comment-1683 hello! my name is ina and my husband is an alcoholic. he says about himself that he is a "miner" alcoholic and that he can stop drinking at anytime. he thinks it is not bad to drink a couple beers every night. he also has 2 or 3 night a week when he gets real drunk. he is a good guy, don't get me wrong! he is never violent or anything. he treats me with respect. i still don't wanna live like this anymore. i, myself, don't like alcohol. i drink maybe once a month or once every two months. i need to have a really good day before i feel like having a drink. anyways, i really wanna help him but i just don't know how. i know that i can't push him to go to treatment because that won't help him. do you have any idea how i can make him see that he has a disease? please help me! thanks so much! ina hello!
my name is ina and my husband is an alcoholic. he says about himself that he is a “miner” alcoholic and that he can stop drinking at anytime. he thinks it is not bad to drink a couple beers every night. he also has 2 or 3 night a week when he gets real drunk. he is a good guy, don’t get me wrong! he is never violent or anything. he treats me with respect. i still don’t wanna live like this anymore. i, myself, don’t like alcohol. i drink maybe once a month or once every two months. i need to have a really good day before i feel like having a drink. anyways, i really wanna help him but i just don’t know how. i know that i can’t push him to go to treatment because that won’t help him. do you have any idea how i can make him see that he has a disease? please help me!
thanks so much!
ina

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