It’s amazing to see people in recovery grow emotionally, spiritually, and start to really grasp the concept of gratitude around their sobriety. If you’ve been around recovery for a while, it’s easy to see who is working an alcohol treatment program and who is simply white knuckling it. The ones who are working a program are growing and you can see the change right before your eyes.

One way people grow in treatment programs is to stop being a victim and start taking responsibility for their actions and recovery. Personally, my treatment program revolves around the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. The 12 Steps helped me develop a spiritual way of living that has been invaluable not only to my sobriety, but all aspects of my life. But then without my sobriety, there really wouldn’t be “aspects” to my life besides drinking. Regardless of what type of alcohol treatment program you’re working, it’s important to take suggestions and directions from those who have something to offer. This story sort of demonstrates what I’m talking about:

A drunk fell in a hole and couldn’t get out. A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in this hole he was in.

A doctor walked by. The drunk said, “Help, I can’t get out.” The doctor gave him drugs and said, “Take this, it will relieve the pain.” The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.

A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunks cries for help. He stopped and said, “How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness.” So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he’d be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole.

A priest came by and the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I’ll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful, he read the Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.

A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, “Hey, help me, I’m stuck in this hole.” Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, “What are you doing? Now we’re both stuck here.” But the recovering alcoholic said, “It’s okay, I’ve been here before, I know how to get out.”

What I find amazing is how treatment programs work in peoples lives when they truly dedicate themselves to working it. I see it everyday in recovery, someone whom just months ago was at deaths door, is now full of gratitude and making huge strides by simply doing “the next right thing.” What’s more amazing is how little every day things, which may have been considered triggers before; now help them find gratitude for their sobriety.

If you know someone who is trying to work an alcohol treatment program, be patient and allow the process to work. Most of the old habits and unhealthy ways we used to live have been ingrained in us for years; it takes time to build new habits and ways of thinking. It’s been my experience that for most programs, if the person is truly working it to the best of their ability, and more importantly being honest with themselves, then they will get better.
One thing I notice with people who are working hard at their program is their ability to see things as the way they are, which is coined in recovery as “accepting life on life’s terms.” When situations arise that may have caused them to drink while in their alcoholism or early recovery, they now view them as learning experiences. The main difference is they let the experiences take them to where they’re supposed to be in their recovery and not just where they’ve ended up (i.e. a victim).

There’s a term around recovery called the “pink cloud.” This is the period early in sobriety when things seem great and simple. The person is feeling great physically because their body is somewhat cleansed of alcohol and they’re still feeling pretty good emotionally because they’re experiencing all the great things they can accomplish now that they’re sober. For some, this pink cloud can continue forever, and it is my opinion that if we truly do the work, this period can last forever. However, for others, the pink cloud phase ends when they realize what mess they’ve created of their lives and that they must start doing some serious work if they’re to stay sober. Things like personal inventory, amends, and attempting to find a spiritual connection in their lives. I like to think of these things as not hard so much as uncomfortable. This is an important part of recovery since most of our drinking careers revolved around avoiding emotionally uncomfortable situations. But these are the things we must work at if we’re to stay sober.

It is also important for family members of addicts or alcoholics to work some type of treatment program themselves. There are programs such as Al-Anon which help family members of alcoholics learn how to deal with the uncertainties that come with the disease of alcoholism. Most people would think it’s the alcoholic’s problem, why should I or our family have to work a treatment program? What some people don’t realize is that everyone in an alcoholic’s life is affected in some way or another whether we realize it or not. I see it all the time in recovery and have experienced it myself. The alcoholic is getting better while the family member is still hurt, living in the past, and in some cases even (deep down) doesn’t want the alcoholic to get better because they may be just as addicted to being the care-taker or numerous other roles. It can be difficult too for a family member who has been hurt by the actions of an alcoholic to suddenly see them feeling good, laughing, having fun, and spending all sorts of time with friends and others in recovery. They may feel they should continue to be remorseful and/or start making up for lost time and all the hurtful things they did while drinking. If this is the case, I highly suggest (whether the person is working AA or not) reading two chapters in the book Alcoholics Anonymous: Chapter 8 To Wives and Chapter 9 The Family Afterward.

As a recovered alcoholic, some things I notice in those who are working an alcohol treatment program are: talking about their emotions (fears, anxieties, etc.) and being honest with themselves, attending some sort of meetings or support groups, counseling, spending time with friends in recovery, decrease in anger, developing some type of spirituality or holistic view about themselves and the world, and most importantly not drinking. This list is obviously not complete as everyone works their own program.

One of the biggest ways to tell if someone is not working a good program is if they are still encountering the same problems over and over in their lives. Insanity is considered doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Someone who is truly working a treatment program for alcoholism will grow whether they are realizing it or not. One of the by-products of that growth will be the ability to better learn from their mistakes and eventually stop making them.

I must admit that I went over six years without drinking and without working an alcohol treatment program. That is rare but then I’m a real stubborn guy. I would not suggest this; which is called white knuckling or a dry drunk. There’s a saying around recovery, “sober up a horse thief and you’ve still got a horse thief.” This tells me that even though I may have stopped drinking, there are still emotional issues I need to deal with or I will eventually drink again. I can verify this to be true. Granted there is no guarantee that if we do work a treatment program that we won’t relapse, but I can attest that life is a million times more enjoyable with the tools I’ve learned from a recovery program.

I knew I could stop drinking; heck I had done it many times before. It was staying stopped and learning how to really enjoy life without alcohol which I had problems with. Simply NOT drinking was not going to work for me because alcohol had been the solution to my problem for so many years. It helped me cope with uncomfortable situations and was always there to comfort me; without it, I became a recluse and sort of walked around whistling in the dark.

Alcoholism is the only disease that constantly tells the sufferer they don’t have it. It is a disease, yet people—who have either been diagnosed as alcoholic or openly admit it to themselves—continue to play with disaster. They continue to risk their lives and in most cases wreck the lives of those closest to them.

We really are like a tornado roaring through the lives of others.

I knew I was an alcoholic for a long time, or a least had real issues with alcohol abuse, but really didn’t want to treat it. Why was this? Had I not lost enough? Did I not believe it was a terminal disease?

Looking at it more closely, why would I want to stop doing something that was treating so many other illnesses I had? Alcohol wasn’t my problem, it was my solution. Treating my alcoholism would have meant quitting the one thing that actually gave me any pleasure in life. Not until the pain of drinking—the consequences of self-loathing, alcoholism depression, and so many other bad side effects—outweighed the fear of trying life without it, was I going to change. Not until the risks were so great—my life—and I looked death in the face, was I even willing to attempt a different way of life. And even then it took several attempts.

So how do we go about treating alcoholism?

If you want to stop drinking and start treating your alcoholism, at some point you’re going to have to stop drinking. I know it sounds obvious, but that’s just the way it works. I like the saying, “there’s two things an alcoholic hates; the way things are and change.” That seems to be a huge dilemma and one that kept me from getting help for many years. But treating my alcoholism started with one gigantic step, admitting I needed help to do it. But asking for help means I’m serious and admitting defeat right? That’s right! And that’s a crucial step in beginning recovery! We must surrender to win!

Admitting I needed outside help to stop drinking was the first major milestone on my road to recovery. Believe me, I tried everything else. I mean after all, I was a smart guy right? Surely I could figure out how to stop drinking. I would Google “alcoholism, recovery, how to stop drinking” (maybe that’s how you found this site!)  And try to stop drinking on my own. For me, that simply didn’t work. I needed something that included other people. After all, forming relationships was part of my problem. So I finally ended up going to a treatment center, living in a sober living house, and attending AA regularly.

So, admitting I need help, that I can’t do it on my own, was the first step in treating my alcoholism. The next step was… well, starting all over with how I perceived the world and my place in it. For years I thought maybe my alcoholism was caused by some deep seated emotional issue; maybe something happened to me as a child I wasn’t aware of. So I sought counseling and shared any experiences I thought may have contributed to my alcoholism. My first several trips to rehab were me thinking I had to get to some rooted problem or traumatic event which caused me to become an alcoholic; thus allowing me to effectively treat it. My thinking was, if I can get to the root issue, I’d be cured and could drink normally. What I discovered was; once a pickle never a cucumber. Once I’m alcoholic, I’m always alcoholic. I simply did not have any intention, or want, to ever drink normally. I drank for the effect produced by alcohol. Period. So I discovered that I had to starting treating my alcoholism. Which meant, learning how to deal with life on life’s terms without self-medicating.

Like any terminal illness, if not treated, alcoholism will kill us. There’s a saying that goes around recovery: if not treated alcoholism leads to three things; jails, institutions, or death. Prior to alcoholism being understand as an illness, it was viewed as a moral defect; which sent most chronic alcoholics to institutions. The process of treating alcoholism is becoming more understood today. With shows like A&E’s Intervention, the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction is becoming understood more by mainstream media and households. But, the main focus of a lot of these forums is “just go to treatment.”

Treatment does not cure alcoholism!

Effectively treating alcoholism, keeping it in remission, takes hard work for the rest of the sufferers life. That sounds so demanding doesn’t it? It is demanding. You will often hear something like, “treatment is a good place for discover, but recovery happens in AA.” AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous; which I am a big fan of. It works for me and is a major piece of my alcoholism treatment program. Think about how much time an alcoholic spends feeding their addiction. Thinking about their next drink, planning their next drink, making sure they have enough alcohol for holidays when most liquor stores are closed, making sure they have enough alcohol if they get snowed in, whether or not there will be beer at the football game… etc. etc. It’s pretty darn time consuming. For me personally, at least early on, I had to put as much investment and dedication into my recovery as I did feeding my addiction. Just as I chased that drunk or buzz, I have to chase after serenity and a sober life style. It does get easier over time, but only because I put in a lot of hard work early on.

But don’t let the idea of hard work scare you from wanting to treat your alcoholism, the result can be the most amazing thing you’ve ever imagined.

I guy I know in recovery says, “I wake up every morning with untreated alcoholism.” Yet, each day we can make it through anything, without drinking, as long as we are dedicated to treating our alcoholism. According to the book Alcoholics Anonymous, “We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” For many people a spiritual solution is needed to treat their alcoholism.

Is a Spiritual Solution Necessary for Alcoholism Treatment?

The topic of spirituality is as deep as it is long, historically speaking. Whether or not a spiritual recovery program is necessary to treat ones alcoholism would be impossible to answer from an objective point of view; since I myself insist on seeking spiritual guidance not only for treating alcoholism, but for all areas of my life. Many people have realized the benefit of treating not only their addictions, but all areas of their life in a holistic manner. You know, body, mind, spirit sort of thing. Since examples seem to work well, and after all, all I have here is my experience, let me explain how it’s worked for me.

I knew I was an alcoholic probably starting in college. At least that’s when I really realized I completely loved alcohol and could never conceive a life without alcohol in it. A few years into college is when I really started drinking pretty much every night. Let me just qualify this statement, just because you don’t drink every night does NOT mean you’re not an alcoholic. When trying to determine whether or not you’re alcoholic, I’ll just suggest one VERY important thing; concentrate on the similarities not the differences.

So early in college (around 1991) I realized I was probably alcoholic, or becoming one. 1997 would be the first time I would seriously try to quit drinking. I was working as a manager at a bar & grill and drinking a lot of vodka every day. I was starting to feel depressed a lot and knew it was the drinking and lifestyle I was living that was causing all my negative and depressive thinking. So one day, I just quit. I remember it was a Sunday night.

I ended having a bad experience with detoxification from alcohol and spent 6 days in the hospital. It is possible to die from alcohol detoxing and I considered myself lucky to be alive. I vowed to stay away from alcohol forever.

Skip ahead almost seven years later. I hadn’t had a drink of alcohol in over six years… I begin thinking maybe I wasn’t an alcoholic after all. So how does an alcoholic go over six years without drinking? Simple, I’m strong willed and am extremely stubborn. After a few years, it was more of a stand off with myself. OH, and I isolated from most situations that involved alcohol.. pretty much. I began dedicating all my spare time to work and teaching myself web programming skills and searching for the key of how to find happiness. I still drank non-alcoholic beer now and then, but for the most part I just abstained. Working no type of spiritual program at all, thus not growing emotionally or spiritually. OH, yeah, they called what I was on for six years (an alcoholic who’s not drinking and not working any type of recovery program) a dry drunk. Think of it this way; sober up a horse thief, and you’ve still got a horse thief.Translation; any underlying issues I had that I was masking or numbing with alcohol for so many years, were still there. And if they refer to that as a dry drunk, well, I was a fire hazard. So after six years I decided that maybe I could have a nice glass of merlot with a steak. That’s sociable right?

Whether I had one glass of wine or fifty is not the important part, the key is I started the obsession again. And whether it was a few days, a week, or a month till my next drink; it was coming! Alcoholism is a progressive disease. If you have it, it always gets worse, never better, no exceptions. So for all those years I wasn’t drinking, I was not treating my alcoholism. Thus, I drank again and the insanity returned. The insanity of thinking I could drink normally. Within a few months I was drinking as much as I had been when I quit back in 1997. Which was over a fifth of vodka a day. Bad.

So to get back to the original question, is a spiritual solution necessary for alcoholism treatment? In my experience, yes it is. Although “spiritual solution” can mean about anything, but in it’s simplest form… well, let’s see… I’ll just say that finding some humility and believing in something or someone outside of yourself is the foundation. A holistic approach is essential. We need to grow in all aspects of our lives; mind, body, and spirit. Sure, as I shared, we may be able to go some time without drinking thinking we’re treating our alcoholism with self-knowledge and abstinence, but believe me, it’s not all that fun.

To live a life without alcohol, to truly treat the disease of alcoholism and live a life completely fulfilling, a holistic approach has been the only one that works for me. You see, I knew I could just not drink. Heck I’d done that hundreds of times. Staying stopped and finding a life full of serenity, happiness, and peace is what I was missing in my treatment program.The peace I was missing was the spiritual solution. So although I think it’s possible to not drink without a spiritual program of recovery, I do believe that if we don’t seek some type of humility and holistic approach to treating our alcoholism, we’re become miserable enough that one day we will drink again. And for me as a real alcoholic, to drink is to die.

Treating the disease of alcoholism can be different for everyone. However, one thing that the majority of long-term recovered alcoholics have in common, is some type of holistic approach to their treatment program. Like I mentioned before, I knew I could stop drinking for certain periods of time, but my life still wasn’t all I thought it could be. Without alcohol I was still missing something. Unless I filled that hole with something of significance, something that was so powerful that it would always over shadow any urge I had to drink, I would eventually drink again. For me, that “something” is the amazing life I have today. The ability to match calamity with serenity in the face of any life obstacles.

Before you read this, let me say that I am NOT minimizing the devastating impact and painful aspects of cancer or any other chronic or terminal disease.  Moreover, progress is being made in accepting alcoholism and addiction as a disease and thus the compassion for those who suffer from it. This is for discussion and meant to set a certain perspective up for view here.

If someone has cancer and they don’t treat it, most likely they’ll die. If someone with cancer is in remission, and their cancer returns, its sad and people support them unconditionally.

If someone has alcoholism and they don’t treat it, most likely they’ll die. I know, I see it all the time. Yet, if someone with alcoholism stays sober for a while then drinks again, they’ve “fallen off the wagon“, “don’t want it bad enough” , “have no will-power“,  “or just aren’t ready.”

I say bullshit. Can you imagine someone saying that to a cancer patient who’s cancer returns? “Guess they’re not ready and or just don’t want it bad enough…”

With shows such as A&E’s Intervention, the public perception of alcoholism and addiction is changing. This is a good thing, especially since it is making it more acceptable for those who have issues with addiction to ask for help.

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) a part of the National Institutes of Health, answers the question:

Is alcoholism a disease?

Yes, alcoholism is a disease. The craving that an alcoholic feels for alcohol can be as strong as the need for food or water. An alcoholic will continue to drink despite serious family, health, or legal problems.

Like many other diseases, alcoholism is chronic, meaning that it lasts a person’s lifetime; it usually follows a predictable course; and it has symptoms. The risk for developing alcoholism is influenced both by a person’s genes and by his or her lifestyle. (See also “Publications,” Alcohol Alert No. 30: Diagnostic Criteria for Alcohol Abuse and Dependence.)

A Look at The Disease Concept from An Alcoholic

Even though in treatment I was told alcoholism was a disease, it was hard for me to accept. A part of me wanted to hold on to the idea that I could control my drinking, thus rejecting the entire disease concept. Each time I would end up at a new bottom, I slowly started to accept that maybe it was a disease after-all.

Finally, in my last treatment visit in March of 2006, I simply conceded to myself, that if I could start to accept the disease concept, maybe it meant I wasn’t a total peace of shit after-all. Now this may seem sort of like a paradox, that by blaming my terrible alcoholic actions on a disease, I’m avoiding responsibility. Or maybe this is just an alcoholic getting into their head too much, but for me it was an important step towards recovery.

I had such low-self esteem as the result living years of self-destructive behavior. Now, it’s important to point out that this is NOT what I showed on the inside. And for the most part, not what I believed about myself on the inside. Alcoholism is the only disease that continually tries to convince those who suffer from it that they DO NOT have it. Conversely, I had what I was showing the world on the outside, confused with what I was feeling on the inside. As long as I had my shit together, I was OK. Truth was, inside I was dying a slow painful death. I can clearly look back and see that about myself today. Compared to the peace and happiness I have inside today, it’s night and day.

There’s some dialog in the movie 28 Days that sort of puts into perspective the mindset of an alcoholic or addict. The person speaking is Steve Bushimi’s character, Cornell:

“If that will make you happy, I will stop drinking. And then I would tell myself tonight I will not get wasted. And then something would happen. Or nothing would happen. And I’d get that feeling and you all know what that feeling is; when your skin is screaming and your hands are shaking and your stomach feels like it wants to jump through your throat. And you know that if anyone had a clue how wrong it felt to be sober, they wouldn’t dream of asking you to stay that way. They would say oh geez, I didn’t know. It’s okay for you. Do that mound of cocaine. Have a drink. Have 20 drinks. Whatever you need to do to feel like a normal human being, you do it. And boy I did it. I drank and I snorted. I drank and snorted. I drank and snorted. And I did this day after day, day after day, night after night. I didn’t care about the consequences because I knew they couldn’t be half as bad as not using. And then one night something happened. I woke up. I woke up on a sidewalk and I had no idea where I was. I couldn’t have told you what city I was in. And my head was pounding and I looked down and my shirt is covered in blood. And as I’m lying there wondering what happens next and I heard a voice. And it said man, this is not a way to live. This is a way to die.”

Many nights I prayed for cancer. As I write this, I feel that maybe those who have been deeply affected by cancer think I’m making light of their fear, pain, suffering, and struggles. How could someone wish that? The alcoholic depression, fear, and self-loathing was so much I prayed for death. I slept under a bridge with hopes of being mugged. I would walk through the seedy part of downtown with my bag of liquor and nice wool coat, thinking how easy it would be if someone just robbed and shot me dead. And I prayed that I would die in my sleep or get cancer. At least with cancer people would say, “that’s so terrible, he was a great guy” and I could get love and sympathy, OH, and drugs!! What a way to go. Drinking myself to death was just pathetic.

On the night of March 12th, 2006, I had finally ran out of alcohol and was too weak to walk the two blocks to the liquor store. Besides, the vodka just wouldn’t go down anymore. When the poison touched my throat, it burned and immediately sent my throat and esophagus into convulsions. I would try and follow it with water, but I couldn’t swallow it quick enough.

I had tried treatment centers a few times before and just figured I was too broken. Plus I owed them a lot of money already. Surely they wouldn’t take me back. So the way I saw it, I had two choices; suicide or try recovery again. Suicide was a real option and I totally understand why so many people choose it. Sometimes it’s better for people to just get some relief. What that said, I do think NOT committing suicide was one of the first real unselfish things I did.

One way or another, alcoholism will kill me if I leave it untreated. In recovery, I surround myself with people who understand the disease. Who won’t completely shut me out and judge me if I show symptoms of my disease. Symptoms like drinking. As I’m writing this, I haven’t had a drink in 1,334 days. Yes, there’s an “app” for that

Some people…(OK, I’ve read and heard people say it so I know it’s out there)… believe that alcoholism treatment centers are only there to make money off information and programs most alcoholics and addicts can get for free through AA or NA.  As I’ve said before, Alcoholism Treatment centers are great places for discovery, but recovery happens as a result of the type of program you work when you get out of treatment. True long-term sobriety comes from spiritual and holistic growth, however you go about getting that.

The amazing thing about recovery and the disease of alcoholism, is that as I help others and become a useful member of society “AS” a recovered alcoholic, I represent those who are still drinking and have a chance. I sponsor a lot of guys, sometimes more than others, and the majority of them go back out. Many come back, and some I never hear from again. But I always tell them the same thing if and when they come back, “just stay alive.” As long as you’re alive, there’s a chance.

photo credit: David Paul Ohmer

I wake up every morning with untreated alcoholism. I cannot rest on accomplishments or laurels of yesterday. However, if I do stay diligent and strive each day to grow spiritually, there is no end to the freedom I will find. By surrendering to the fact that I am an alcoholic, and making a decision to really do something about it, I become open to the possibility of becoming who I might be.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
-Lao Tzu

There is a saying about alcoholics, there are two things we do not like; the way things are and change. If I’m truly going to treat my alcoholism, I must be willing to accept significant change. And we’re not just talking about a geological or physical change, we’re talking about a deep, long-lasting, psychic change. A complete change in our way of thinking. In order for me to obtain healthy long-term sobriety—and happiness—I must change the way I see the world around me and my place in it.

So each day I wake up and pray for guidance from a Higher Power. I know that my alcoholism is always there and as an alcoholic I must be diligent about treating it. So I pray every morning and night. When I first started praying I wasn’t really sure who or what I was praying to. I was doing it simply because someone who knew more about alcoholism than I did suggested I pray. After some time, the prayers started meaning something and I saw results. I would say that roughly 98% of my prayers are for other people and the other 2% are that I have willingness to grow and to accept whatever is in store for me.

Getting back to the topic of getting up each day with untreated alcoholism. If I were to go several days or a week without prayer and trying to grow spiritually, my thought process get’s off kilter. Also known as “off the beam.” Meaning thoughts come into my head that start to lead me closer to a drink. Closer to a drink for an alcoholic like me means thoughts that are usually selfish and self-centered. Either self-pity or completely selfish thoughts usually lead me to drinking. When I start to think that I’m the only important thing in this world, a drink is usually not too far away. Humility is important to staying sober. If I think my crap don’t stick and I’m invincible, then I’m looking to fall hard. I forget what alcohol does to me and start thinking that I can handle it.

If I’m not growing spiritually-treating my alcoholism-then I’m heading for a relapse. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but sooner or later, if I’m not treating my alcoholism, I’m going to drink again. And for me, to drink is to die.

Alcohol abuse and alcoholism are two different things. The abuse of alcohol is most generally defined as the “use of alcoholic beverages to excess, either on individual occasions (“binge drinking”) or as a regular practice” (MedicineNet.com). I abused alcohol for many years before I ever became an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a disease, alcohol abuse, from the definition, is a behavior. As a recovered alcoholic, I know how to treat alcoholism, so treating alcohol abuse or the term alcohol abuse treatment will take a little more work to look at.

From this perspective, to treat alcohol abuse, the goal would be to stop the behavior of abusing alcohol before it becomes the disease of alcoholism; if that’s the progression. Which in my case, it was. To stop the behavior of alcohol abuse, the consequences for the individual have to become greater than the apparent positive feelings or experiences they get from drinking. In my case, the negative consequences did not get bad until they got… well, really bad.

If I look back at my history of drinking, there were some occasions where alcohol abuse treatment may have worked. Times where my abuse of alcohol was causing me some problems, and had I stopped at that point, maybe I would not have become an alcoholic. It’s funny, as I’m writing this I don’t believe that statement. I do not believe anything could have ever prevented me from becoming an alcoholic. It is my belief I was born an alcoholic. But lets say there could have been a point at which I may have been able to perform some type of alcohol abuse treatment. Maybe if the consequences of my drinking had gotten to a more serious point, I may have sought some type of abuse treatment. But I’ll never know.

For me personally, I never suffered severe consequences for my drinking. Well, OK, lets define what I mean by severe. Severe would mean any circumstances that forced me to seek help. Just about the only thing that comes to mind is legal pressure due to Drunken Driving arrests or some other crime related to alcohol, which I was never involved in. What that said however, I still may not have seriously sought alcohol abuse treatment. I know many alcoholics in recovery who have received numerous DUI’s and faced severe legal consequences due to their drinking and that never stopped them. There no way to know if legal trouble would have stopped my alcohol abuse either.

Truth is, I had to get so severely depressed from alcohol depression that I considered suicide before I truly sought treatment for my alcoholism. Or at least went after recovery with the desperation needed to sustain any long-term sobriety.

In my opinion, alcohol abuse treatment would be treating someone who is abusing alcohol. So what does that mean? Well, it would help them see that where they’re heading is not a pleasant road to travel. Maybe it would be some type of preventative class or educational series about the effects and severe risks of alcoholism. Would this really work? Part of me wants to say its a waste of time and that most of the people who truly want to drink and abuse alcohol are going to do it anyway. But then the risk of not trying something is even greater.

Let’s say me and my friend Steve are going to meet down at the local bar everynight at 5:00 p.m. for the next 90 days in a row. Our goal is to get drunk. But all we do is sit there and look at the bottles lining the wall behind the bartender. We talk about how drunk we’re going to get when we lift that bottle up to our mouths and feel that warm whiskey running down our throats and into our blood. But again, all we do is talk about it. We don’t ask the bartender to help us or pour us anything, all we do is talk. Then we wonder why we’re not getting drunk. Must be the bartenders fault of course, isn’t that his job… to get us drunk?

OK, now say I’ve been getting in trouble with the law for awhile now. A few DUI”s or whatever, let’s just say that drinking alcohol has really gotten me into a lot of trouble. People keep telling me I should go to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or a treatment program for my problem. Finally I decide to do something about it, at least to get everyone off my back. Then I hear the people in AA and the treatment center suggesting I go to 90 AA meetings in 90 days. So I do that, I go to 90 meetings in 90 days. I sit there and listen to everyone talking about their issues and how great or terrible their life is. I come out of a few meetings feeling something, maybe if anything I’ve forgotten about all my problems for an hour.

But all I do is listen to what everyone is saying. I take no action. I don’t do anything they suggest, like get a sponsor and work the steps. Consequently, I do not get the desired effect I am seeking, like serenity and inner peace.

It is possible to come out of AA meetings feeling, but that is different than healing. If you truly are an alcoholic like me, than we need to find some healing. Feeling only lasts for so long, then we’re drunk again. What we really need is some real healing that comes with truly working a recovery program. You see, the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are like the bottles on the shelf behind the bartender. If we do not take the action which will get us the desired results, we’re not going to get better.

The story about the two guys, the bar, and 90 meetings and 90 days was inspired by an AA speaker I heard by the name of Giuseppe. I just wanted people to know I did not come up with that brilliant analogy by myself. Actually, when you think about it, most of the things we learn are from someone else right? So why not go get something from someone who has something you want? Like true recovery.

Like the saying goes, “if you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.” For me, that something was surrender and ask for help.

Check out About Alcoholism Treatment for more on alcoholism

Wanna know how to stop drinking?

There is a saying around recovery that says, “if you want to stop drinking, at some point you have to stop drinking.” Sounds easy doesn’t it? People often ask, “why don’t you just stop?”

They just don’t understand.

For years I was stuck in a similar situation. And I mean for years! There were two things that I hated more than anything else; the way things were, and change.  If you have been trying to stop drinking then you know what I’m talking about.

The first step to stop drinking is wanting to stop. Hold on! How do you get there? Believe me, it’s hard… really hard. In my case, the pain of the way things were finally outweighed the fear of trying something different. At that point in time “something different” was simply trying to live one day at a time without alcohol.

Sure there were times when I “thought” I wanted to stop. The morning after a night out when filled with quilt and remorse. I’d swear I wasn’t going to go out that night. But as quitting time neared and everyone started talking about where they were going out to drink, that mornings promise and feelings lost all importance. So I would do it all over again. So how does one really get to a point where they truly want to stop drinking and seek some type of alcoholism treatment?  In my experience, one word; pain. Emotional pain, physical pain, spiritual pain, you name it, any type of pain that reaches a point to where it is unbearable.

I have been to an alcoholism treatment center on three different occasions. Each time I entered them for different reason. In my opinion, each reason had something to do with the amount of success I had in staying sober upon leaving. The reasons I entered treatment were for the following reasons in this order; 1. My job, 2. My marriage, and 3. My life. I have been sober since the last time I entered treatment. I believe there to be a direct correlation with the fact I entered treatment the last time for myself and no one else. I was afraid of dying, period.

Finding recovery is different for everyone. Some find it through an alcoholic intervention. I have heard that some people got sober for their families, but in my experience that did not work. I was not desperate enough to go to any length to stay sober until my life was seriously threatened.

So how was my life threatened? As the progression of alcoholism increases the more I drink, the more I suffer from depression. Depression fueled by so much guilt and remorse for drinking that it becomes unbearable. During my last bottom the only “real” solution to my problem, as I saw it at the time, was suicide. That is where drinking takes me, deep alcohol depression. So the last time I entered a treatment program, I was desperate to save my life.

I have been sober and working a rigorous recovery program since the last time I left an alcohol treatment center. I work my recovery program ever single day to the best of my ability. My life today is better than I could have ever imagined. I am truly, truly grateful.

Thanks for reading. For more on spiritual growth and my journey, check out my other site Spiritual Zen.

The definition of Alcoholism as published by the Journal of the American Medical Association:

“Alcoholism is a primary, chronic disease with genetic, psychosocial, and environmental factors influencing its development and manifestations. The disease is often progressive and fatal. It is characterized by continuous or periodic: impaired control over drinking, preoccupation with the drug alcohol, use of alcohol despite adverse consequences, and distortions in thinking, most notably denial.”

Symptoms of alcoholism include:
Craving: A strong need, or compulsion, to drink.
Loss of control: The frequent inability to stop drinking once a person has begun.
Physical dependence: The occurrence of withdrawal symptoms, such as nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety, when alcohol use is stopped after a period of heavy drinking. These symptoms are usually relieved by drinking alcohol or by taking another sedative drug.
Tolerance: The need for increasing amounts of alcohol in order to get “high.”

According to Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism is a two fold disease, a physical allergy plus an obsession of the mind. As a recovering alcoholic and from experience, I can tell you this is true.  The allergy being that an alcoholic’s body reacts differently than a non-alcoholic. As for the medical specifics of what this means, I’m neither qualified nor quite understand this myself. However, I heard something from a movie that helped put the allergy aspect into perspective. In the movie, Day’s of Wine and Roses, a friend is describing alcoholism to Jack Lemon and how it relates to an allergy, “How many strawberries does it take to start an allergy? And which one gives you hives? Alcoholism is an illness. It’s pretty hard to diagnose an illness until you’ve got it.”

The treatment for alcoholism is complicated yet must begin with the abstinence of alcohol.

One area I do know a lot about is the obsession of the mind. When I review the history of my drinking, the obsession for alcohol started many years before the disease took total control and begin to ruin my life completely. At first it was looking forward to the weekends simply for the purpose of drinking. Then it was 5:00 p.m. (quitting time). No matter what I was doing, thinking about when I was going to drink next became center stage in my mind. But just because I think about drinking does not make me an alcoholic. In my opinion, no one can diagnose someone as alcoholic. But a good indicator is if their life has become unmanageable due to the effects of their drinking.

As a recovering alcoholic, I know about the mental obsession aspect of alcoholism. Even after periods of abstinence and like any addiction, the thought of taking a drink still occurs. And once that first drink is taken, the obsession becomes a driving force in all aspects of the alcoholic’s life.

There are a few a common sayings in recovery concerning the first drink – “One is too many and a thousand is not enough” or “it’s the engine, not the caboose of a train that kills you.”

I woke up on March 16th of 1997 and decided to quit drinking. What’s so significant about that you say? At that point in my life, I had been drinking around 2 liters of vodka a day. When drinking that much, one cannot simply quit without some physical problems. I ended up in the hospital going through a severe detox for six days. At several points I was strapped down to the bed to prevent me from pulling out my IV’s. Detoxing from alcohol is serious and can even be fatal. So if someone you know has been drinking large amounts of alcohol for extended periods of time, make sure they seek medical attention if they decide to quit suddenly.

The point of this and how it relates with obsession, is after that day I did not take a drink of alcohol for over six years. One day I decided that “maybe I’m not an alcoholic…. after all it’s been six years since I had a drink.” So one evening with my girlfriend I had a glass of wine with a steak… it was a Merlot. The fact that I remember what type of wine it was and when illustrates how an alcoholic’s mind obsesses about alcohol. Once alcohol enters the system of an alcoholic, the mind begins to obsess about the next drink. Whether it’s a day, a week, or several months, the alcoholic thinking and obsession has returned. For me, it was several weeks before I had another drink and everyone, including myself, thought I was OK. But the truth was, I was constantly thinking about when and how I was going to drink again. After all, I had a glass of wine and the sky didn’t come falling down. “Maybe I’m not an alcoholic after all.”

Within a few short months, I was drinking just as much alcohol as I had been when I quit six years earlier. Even though an alcoholic stops drinking or tries different ways on how to stop drinking, the mind can still obsess about alcohol. That is where working some type of ongoing recovery program comes into play. Unless the alcoholic can deal with underlying emotionally issues, ones that they drank to avoid (whether they know it or not), and develop a life in which they continue to grow spiritually or holistically, the chances of maintaining long-term sobriety are slim.

Alcohol detox is only one part in the treatment of alcoholism. The detoxification from alcohol can be serious and life threatening. In many cases, alcoholism treatment may begin with the individual going through a detoxification program. The individual must be detoxed and monitored to avoid any serious injury during the initial stages of withdraw. Some treatment programs have on-ground detox facilities where others may utilize a local hospital or dedicated detox facility.

When detoxing from alcohol, depending on the amount consumed and for how long, you will probably experience withdraw symptoms. Withdraw symptoms are different for everyone but most often include nausea, vomiting, cold sweats, shaking, anxiety, and in some cases convulsions and seizures.

In March of 1997, after drinking daily for years, I had been drinking approximately 2 liters of vodka a day for several months when I decided to stop on Sunday night. I was at home and wasn’t aware of the seriousness of alcohol detox. By mid Monday morning I realized something was seriously wrong and dialed 911. I ended up in the emergency room of a local hospital and went through violent detoxification process. I experienced extreme convulsions, hallucinations, cold sweats, vomiting, and was in ICU for five days.

Alcohol detox programs are not all the same. There are different philosophies and beliefs on the proper way to detox someone from alcohol. Some administer drugs to help relieve the detox process while others do not or administer different types of drugs. During my detox in 1997, I have no idea if or what kind of drugs they gave me. I do know they had me on an IV which I continued to pull out until they strapped my arms to the bed. I’ve been through detox dozens of time since then and have been given Librium on several occasions. From my experience, Librium does not relieve the symptoms of withdraw so much as prevent seizures and convulsions. Withdrawing from alcohol is still painful no matter what. With that said, coming off of any drug or alcohol is difficult. And since the effect of Librium was not getting me as “high” as the alcohol, it’s effect did little in diminishing the discomfort.

I have spent anywhere from three to seven days in an actual detox program. The time varies and seems to increase as the disease progresses. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. The last time I entered a detox program was on March 12, 2006 and I remained in detox for seven days. The facility I was in required certain vital sign levels to be maintained and that the individual had not required Librium for 24 hours prior to being allowed to leave the detox facility.

Detoxing from alcohol is only the first step in treating the disease of alcoholism. Although it can be extremely painful and even life threatening, it is obviously necessary.

From Experience!
While it is possible to detox, or “wean” oneself from alcohol (by slowing reducing consumption to zero), it is not recommended and in my experience does not work very well, if at all. As an experienced and recovered alcoholic, let me share a story.

After years of drinking, I became aware of just how much I could drink for an extended period of time without experiencing any significant withdraw symptoms. For me it was one liter of vodka a day. Once I got to over a liter, I knew I would have trouble stopping without some withdraw symptoms. The most common symptoms were waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweats (freezing yet sweating bullets!) and severe shakes. When the symptoms start setting in, the only thing you can think about is getting alcohol in your system to stop the symptoms. Many nights, while trying to hide fact I was drinking and thus didn’t not have a readily available supply of alcohol in the house, I would wake up and search for anything with alcohol in it. Cooking sherry, vanilla extract, mouth wash, anything to stop the withdraw.

One time I’d gotten to the point where I knew I needed to wean myself down slowly so I could stop without these withdraw symptoms. So I hid away in a friends basement who happened to have an enormous bar full of all types of liquor. I told myself I’d keep track of how much I was taking and slowly drink less over the span of three or four days. Five days later my girlfriend came and took me back to treatment… I’m still not sure how she found me. A true alcoholic cannot control his drinking. “I can either enjoy it, or control it” is a common phrase. Detoxing myself never worked.