It’s amazing to see people in recovery grow emotionally, spiritually, and start to really grasp the concept of gratitude around their sobriety. If you’ve been around recovery for a while, it’s easy to see who is working an alcohol treatment program and who is simply white knuckling it. The ones who are working a program are growing and you can see the change right before your eyes.

One way people grow in treatment programs is to stop being a victim and start taking responsibility for their actions and recovery. Personally, my treatment program revolves around the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. The 12 Steps helped me develop a spiritual way of living that has been invaluable not only to my sobriety, but all aspects of my life. But then without my sobriety, there really wouldn’t be “aspects” to my life besides drinking. Regardless of what type of alcohol treatment program you’re working, it’s important to take suggestions and directions from those who have something to offer. This story sort of demonstrates what I’m talking about:

A drunk fell in a hole and couldn’t get out. A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in this hole he was in.

A doctor walked by. The drunk said, “Help, I can’t get out.” The doctor gave him drugs and said, “Take this, it will relieve the pain.” The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.

A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunks cries for help. He stopped and said, “How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness.” So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he’d be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole.

A priest came by and the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I’ll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful, he read the Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.

A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, “Hey, help me, I’m stuck in this hole.” Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, “What are you doing? Now we’re both stuck here.” But the recovering alcoholic said, “It’s okay, I’ve been here before, I know how to get out.”

What I find amazing is how treatment programs work in peoples lives when they truly dedicate themselves to working it. I see it everyday in recovery, someone whom just months ago was at deaths door, is now full of gratitude and making huge strides by simply doing “the next right thing.” What’s more amazing is how little every day things, which may have been considered triggers before; now help them find gratitude for their sobriety.

If you know someone who is trying to work an alcohol treatment program, be patient and allow the process to work. Most of the old habits and unhealthy ways we used to live have been ingrained in us for years; it takes time to build new habits and ways of thinking. It’s been my experience that for most programs, if the person is truly working it to the best of their ability, and more importantly being honest with themselves, then they will get better.
One thing I notice with people who are working hard at their program is their ability to see things as the way they are, which is coined in recovery as “accepting life on life’s terms.” When situations arise that may have caused them to drink while in their alcoholism or early recovery, they now view them as learning experiences. The main difference is they let the experiences take them to where they’re supposed to be in their recovery and not just where they’ve ended up (i.e. a victim).

There’s a term around recovery called the “pink cloud.” This is the period early in sobriety when things seem great and simple. The person is feeling great physically because their body is somewhat cleansed of alcohol and they’re still feeling pretty good emotionally because they’re experiencing all the great things they can accomplish now that they’re sober. For some, this pink cloud can continue forever, and it is my opinion that if we truly do the work, this period can last forever. However, for others, the pink cloud phase ends when they realize what mess they’ve created of their lives and that they must start doing some serious work if they’re to stay sober. Things like personal inventory, amends, and attempting to find a spiritual connection in their lives. I like to think of these things as not hard so much as uncomfortable. This is an important part of recovery since most of our drinking careers revolved around avoiding emotionally uncomfortable situations. But these are the things we must work at if we’re to stay sober.

It is also important for family members of addicts or alcoholics to work some type of treatment program themselves. There are programs such as Al-Anon which help family members of alcoholics learn how to deal with the uncertainties that come with the disease of alcoholism. Most people would think it’s the alcoholic’s problem, why should I or our family have to work a treatment program? What some people don’t realize is that everyone in an alcoholic’s life is affected in some way or another whether we realize it or not. I see it all the time in recovery and have experienced it myself. The alcoholic is getting better while the family member is still hurt, living in the past, and in some cases even (deep down) doesn’t want the alcoholic to get better because they may be just as addicted to being the care-taker or numerous other roles. It can be difficult too for a family member who has been hurt by the actions of an alcoholic to suddenly see them feeling good, laughing, having fun, and spending all sorts of time with friends and others in recovery. They may feel they should continue to be remorseful and/or start making up for lost time and all the hurtful things they did while drinking. If this is the case, I highly suggest (whether the person is working AA or not) reading two chapters in the book Alcoholics Anonymous: Chapter 8 To Wives and Chapter 9 The Family Afterward.

As a recovered alcoholic, some things I notice in those who are working an alcohol treatment program are: talking about their emotions (fears, anxieties, etc.) and being honest with themselves, attending some sort of meetings or support groups, counseling, spending time with friends in recovery, decrease in anger, developing some type of spirituality or holistic view about themselves and the world, and most importantly not drinking. This list is obviously not complete as everyone works their own program.

One of the biggest ways to tell if someone is not working a good program is if they are still encountering the same problems over and over in their lives. Insanity is considered doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Someone who is truly working a treatment program for alcoholism will grow whether they are realizing it or not. One of the by-products of that growth will be the ability to better learn from their mistakes and eventually stop making them.

I must admit that I went over six years without drinking and without working an alcohol treatment program. That is rare but then I’m a real stubborn guy. I would not suggest this; which is called white knuckling or a dry drunk. There’s a saying around recovery, “sober up a horse thief and you’ve still got a horse thief.” This tells me that even though I may have stopped drinking, there are still emotional issues I need to deal with or I will eventually drink again. I can verify this to be true. Granted there is no guarantee that if we do work a treatment program that we won’t relapse, but I can attest that life is a million times more enjoyable with the tools I’ve learned from a recovery program.

I knew I could stop drinking; heck I had done it many times before. It was staying stopped and learning how to really enjoy life without alcohol which I had problems with. Simply NOT drinking was not going to work for me because alcohol had been the solution to my problem for so many years. It helped me cope with uncomfortable situations and was always there to comfort me; without it, I became a recluse and sort of walked around whistling in the dark.

Alcoholism is the only disease that constantly tells the sufferer they don’t have it. It is a disease, yet people—who have either been diagnosed as alcoholic or openly admit it to themselves—continue to play with disaster. They continue to risk their lives and in most cases wreck the lives of those closest to them.

We really are like a tornado roaring through the lives of others.

I knew I was an alcoholic for a long time, or a least had real issues with alcohol abuse, but really didn’t want to treat it. Why was this? Had I not lost enough? Did I not believe it was a terminal disease?

Looking at it more closely, why would I want to stop doing something that was treating so many other illnesses I had? Alcohol wasn’t my problem, it was my solution. Treating my alcoholism would have meant quitting the one thing that actually gave me any pleasure in life. Not until the pain of drinking—the consequences of self-loathing, alcoholism depression, and so many other bad side effects—outweighed the fear of trying life without it, was I going to change. Not until the risks were so great—my life—and I looked death in the face, was I even willing to attempt a different way of life. And even then it took several attempts.

So how do we go about treating alcoholism?

If you want to stop drinking and start treating your alcoholism, at some point you’re going to have to stop drinking. I know it sounds obvious, but that’s just the way it works. I like the saying, “there’s two things an alcoholic hates; the way things are and change.” That seems to be a huge dilemma and one that kept me from getting help for many years. But treating my alcoholism started with one gigantic step, admitting I needed help to do it. But asking for help means I’m serious and admitting defeat right? That’s right! And that’s a crucial step in beginning recovery! We must surrender to win!

Admitting I needed outside help to stop drinking was the first major milestone on my road to recovery. Believe me, I tried everything else. I mean after all, I was a smart guy right? Surely I could figure out how to stop drinking. I would Google “alcoholism, recovery, how to stop drinking” (maybe that’s how you found this site!)  And try to stop drinking on my own. For me, that simply didn’t work. I needed something that included other people. After all, forming relationships was part of my problem. So I finally ended up going to a treatment center, living in a sober living house, and attending AA regularly.

So, admitting I need help, that I can’t do it on my own, was the first step in treating my alcoholism. The next step was… well, starting all over with how I perceived the world and my place in it. For years I thought maybe my alcoholism was caused by some deep seated emotional issue; maybe something happened to me as a child I wasn’t aware of. So I sought counseling and shared any experiences I thought may have contributed to my alcoholism. My first several trips to rehab were me thinking I had to get to some rooted problem or traumatic event which caused me to become an alcoholic; thus allowing me to effectively treat it. My thinking was, if I can get to the root issue, I’d be cured and could drink normally. What I discovered was; once a pickle never a cucumber. Once I’m alcoholic, I’m always alcoholic. I simply did not have any intention, or want, to ever drink normally. I drank for the effect produced by alcohol. Period. So I discovered that I had to starting treating my alcoholism. Which meant, learning how to deal with life on life’s terms without self-medicating.

Like any terminal illness, if not treated, alcoholism will kill us. There’s a saying that goes around recovery: if not treated alcoholism leads to three things; jails, institutions, or death. Prior to alcoholism being understand as an illness, it was viewed as a moral defect; which sent most chronic alcoholics to institutions. The process of treating alcoholism is becoming more understood today. With shows like A&E’s Intervention, the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction is becoming understood more by mainstream media and households. But, the main focus of a lot of these forums is “just go to treatment.”

Treatment does not cure alcoholism!

Effectively treating alcoholism, keeping it in remission, takes hard work for the rest of the sufferers life. That sounds so demanding doesn’t it? It is demanding. You will often hear something like, “treatment is a good place for discover, but recovery happens in AA.” AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous; which I am a big fan of. It works for me and is a major piece of my alcoholism treatment program. Think about how much time an alcoholic spends feeding their addiction. Thinking about their next drink, planning their next drink, making sure they have enough alcohol for holidays when most liquor stores are closed, making sure they have enough alcohol if they get snowed in, whether or not there will be beer at the football game… etc. etc. It’s pretty darn time consuming. For me personally, at least early on, I had to put as much investment and dedication into my recovery as I did feeding my addiction. Just as I chased that drunk or buzz, I have to chase after serenity and a sober life style. It does get easier over time, but only because I put in a lot of hard work early on.

But don’t let the idea of hard work scare you from wanting to treat your alcoholism, the result can be the most amazing thing you’ve ever imagined.

I guy I know in recovery says, “I wake up every morning with untreated alcoholism.” Yet, each day we can make it through anything, without drinking, as long as we are dedicated to treating our alcoholism. According to the book Alcoholics Anonymous, “We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” For many people a spiritual solution is needed to treat their alcoholism.

Is a Spiritual Solution Necessary for Alcoholism Treatment?

The topic of spirituality is as deep as it is long, historically speaking. Whether or not a spiritual recovery program is necessary to treat ones alcoholism would be impossible to answer from an objective point of view; since I myself insist on seeking spiritual guidance not only for treating alcoholism, but for all areas of my life. Many people have realized the benefit of treating not only their addictions, but all areas of their life in a holistic manner. You know, body, mind, spirit sort of thing. Since examples seem to work well, and after all, all I have here is my experience, let me explain how it’s worked for me.

I knew I was an alcoholic probably starting in college. At least that’s when I really realized I completely loved alcohol and could never conceive a life without alcohol in it. A few years into college is when I really started drinking pretty much every night. Let me just qualify this statement, just because you don’t drink every night does NOT mean you’re not an alcoholic. When trying to determine whether or not you’re alcoholic, I’ll just suggest one VERY important thing; concentrate on the similarities not the differences.

So early in college (around 1991) I realized I was probably alcoholic, or becoming one. 1997 would be the first time I would seriously try to quit drinking. I was working as a manager at a bar & grill and drinking a lot of vodka every day. I was starting to feel depressed a lot and knew it was the drinking and lifestyle I was living that was causing all my negative and depressive thinking. So one day, I just quit. I remember it was a Sunday night.

I ended having a bad experience with detoxification from alcohol and spent 6 days in the hospital. It is possible to die from alcohol detoxing and I considered myself lucky to be alive. I vowed to stay away from alcohol forever.

Skip ahead almost seven years later. I hadn’t had a drink of alcohol in over six years… I begin thinking maybe I wasn’t an alcoholic after all. So how does an alcoholic go over six years without drinking? Simple, I’m strong willed and am extremely stubborn. After a few years, it was more of a stand off with myself. OH, and I isolated from most situations that involved alcohol.. pretty much. I began dedicating all my spare time to work and teaching myself web programming skills and searching for the key of how to find happiness. I still drank non-alcoholic beer now and then, but for the most part I just abstained. Working no type of spiritual program at all, thus not growing emotionally or spiritually. OH, yeah, they called what I was on for six years (an alcoholic who’s not drinking and not working any type of recovery program) a dry drunk. Think of it this way; sober up a horse thief, and you’ve still got a horse thief.Translation; any underlying issues I had that I was masking or numbing with alcohol for so many years, were still there. And if they refer to that as a dry drunk, well, I was a fire hazard. So after six years I decided that maybe I could have a nice glass of merlot with a steak. That’s sociable right?

Whether I had one glass of wine or fifty is not the important part, the key is I started the obsession again. And whether it was a few days, a week, or a month till my next drink; it was coming! Alcoholism is a progressive disease. If you have it, it always gets worse, never better, no exceptions. So for all those years I wasn’t drinking, I was not treating my alcoholism. Thus, I drank again and the insanity returned. The insanity of thinking I could drink normally. Within a few months I was drinking as much as I had been when I quit back in 1997. Which was over a fifth of vodka a day. Bad.

So to get back to the original question, is a spiritual solution necessary for alcoholism treatment? In my experience, yes it is. Although “spiritual solution” can mean about anything, but in it’s simplest form… well, let’s see… I’ll just say that finding some humility and believing in something or someone outside of yourself is the foundation. A holistic approach is essential. We need to grow in all aspects of our lives; mind, body, and spirit. Sure, as I shared, we may be able to go some time without drinking thinking we’re treating our alcoholism with self-knowledge and abstinence, but believe me, it’s not all that fun.

To live a life without alcohol, to truly treat the disease of alcoholism and live a life completely fulfilling, a holistic approach has been the only one that works for me. You see, I knew I could just not drink. Heck I’d done that hundreds of times. Staying stopped and finding a life full of serenity, happiness, and peace is what I was missing in my treatment program.The peace I was missing was the spiritual solution. So although I think it’s possible to not drink without a spiritual program of recovery, I do believe that if we don’t seek some type of humility and holistic approach to treating our alcoholism, we’re become miserable enough that one day we will drink again. And for me as a real alcoholic, to drink is to die.

Treating the disease of alcoholism can be different for everyone. However, one thing that the majority of long-term recovered alcoholics have in common, is some type of holistic approach to their treatment program. Like I mentioned before, I knew I could stop drinking for certain periods of time, but my life still wasn’t all I thought it could be. Without alcohol I was still missing something. Unless I filled that hole with something of significance, something that was so powerful that it would always over shadow any urge I had to drink, I would eventually drink again. For me, that “something” is the amazing life I have today. The ability to match calamity with serenity in the face of any life obstacles.